In the past several days I have dropped from the most peaceful and content place I’ve been in a long time to being the most frustrated I’ve felt in a long time. I had a long conversation with Lee about it tonight at Starbucks and he really helped me sort through some stuff at the heart of it….I love his wisdom and guidance so much. Even still, I almost sent one of my ridiculous, screaming and ranting vent emails to my friend Allen tonight. I decided to go for a run instead to release some frustration…but I still might have to do it!
I need to forget myself more. That’s what I need to do. I’m learning that no matter how frustrated I am at uncontrollable circumstances, there is always something I can do to become more like Jesus in the midst of it. I never run out of things to repent of or change, and I can be about doing that regardless of other considerations.
I am also learning that the Gospel is so much bigger than my frustrations–it dwarfs even the biggest ones that try to get me down. The Gospel is good news no matter what my circumstances are, and if I am to be faithful to it then I need to live in the light of that always. I desperately want this truth to sink deep into the ill-content places of my heart.
I am thanking Jesus for more good news right now as well. Due to the generosity of a good friend of mine, I get to leave work tomorrow and head to Atlanta to go to Catalyst with my beautiful wife. I am so very excited about it….I love learning and being challenged at stuff like this. Even more so, I love how Jesus knew that I could really use a short work week and that getting away would be really healthy for my soul this week. He is just so awesome and faithful like that.
One more piece of good news…I think I have finally figured out something pretty important. People like Allen and Lee have been asking me for a while what my biggest passion is. Thats a hard question for me, because I have several of them(writing, community missions, teaching, church planting, etc.). I think God has recently shown me what the underlying theme is in all of them. I think my biggest passion is helping straighten out misconceptions about God and His Church. In our culture almost everyone has heard something about God…its just that most of it is wrong. Who knew that that was at the heart of everything I love to do? Even though I don’t really know what that means, I do feel better knowing it. Good news!
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