knockdown. drag-out.

Its been a fight lately. I’ve been having one of those knockdown drag-out fights with God the past two weeks. What that means usually is that I kick and scream and fuss a lot, and then God, in His ever gentle and loving way, knocks me down a notch and drags me out of my selfishness.

I was sitting at work this morning in the midst of one of my inner temper tantrums, and this is what the Holy Spirit said to me: “Brandon I know you are frustrated, and that’s okay. But the question you need to answer is really quite simple. Am I enough for you or not? Am I sufficient or do you need more? Ministry makes a terrible idol, and you better learn to be content in Me now or face being restless and unhappy for the rest of your life chasing a pipedream. Waiting on some kind of payoff won’t do you any good, because even if it does come, it won’t fulfill. I am the prize. I am the goal and the reward. Only I can fulfill, and I can do so whether you are in the wilderness or in the promised land. You just worry about learning that for now.”