Marriage Doesn’t Suck

This may be news to some. Marriage doesn’t get a good rap these days. Most people talk like they want to get out of the old “ball and chain”, or at least get a hall pass.

But I would like to report that as of today, I have been married for 4 years. To the same woman, even! And I love it. It’s awesome. I’m not tired of it. I don’t want out. I feel like I’m still getting to know Kristi, even though I know her better than ever.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not always easy, because we/I/she is not always easy. Sometimes we/I/she decide for whatever reason to be selfish or difficult or just stupid for a time. Our sin nature rears its ugly head, and mine at least can be very ugly.

But you know what we’ve learned? When it happens, it doesn’t have to ruin the next few days. Or even the next couple of hours. In fact, it can only ruin a few minutes–if we let it ruin only a few minutes. If we, when you get to that point when you know you’re wrong or being stupid but you just don’t want to admit to it–if we just go ahead and say, you know what, I’m sorry. It’s not worth it. The toilet seat or dishes on the counter or whatever it is…it’s just not worth World War 3.

And then things are much better. We can forgive each other for being selfish or stupid, because well–we’ve been forgiven a lot more than we’ll ever have to forgive. Grace precedes grace. We can let it go and love each other and have fun again.

Pride will ruin a marriage. But a humility that comes from the gospel? That will grow and shape and ripen a marriage. And it will only get better over time.

A while back, I had a very awkward and unfortunate encounter with a gas station attendant. She was a young girl in her twenties, and while checking out she saw my ring.

“You maaarrrieed?…”

“Umm, yes I am.” I answered.

“You too young to be married,” she said.

“Well, I’ve been married for almost four years, so…”

“Why you buy the cow when you could have the milk for free?”

(Awkward silence. I look at her with squinty eyes & immediately feel sorry for whatever has happened to her to make her say such a degrading thing.)

Finally, I answer. “My wife is not a cow. She is awesome and I love being married to her.”

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to say she was a cow…umm…” (So what exactly was she trying to say?)

At this point she very awkwardly turns away from me to get the next customer in line.

That crap breaks my heart. But I have good news for her and good news for you, whether you’re married or single or whatever. Marriage doesn’t suck–or at least it doesn’t have to. It’s as hard as two sinful people make it, and as good as two people growing in gospel humility and repentance make it.

Happy four years, babe. Here’s to many, many more.

(If you want to hear much more about how the gospel applies to marriage, I highly recommend this book: When Sinners Say I Do, by Dave Harvey.)


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