I’m not real sure how to explain what Jesus has been doing in my life lately. I assume that part of the reason is that I’m still realizing and processing many of the lessons I’ve been learning. It’s been really good. And when I say that, I don’t mean its been the easy, frolicking through meadows kind of good. No, its been more like the teeth-gritting, kicking and screaming, tough kind of good…the kind that only seems good when you get out a little and begin to look back on it. I know this because I am slowly gaining the ability to thank God for this time, even though I know I am not out of the woods yet.
I feel lighter and freer than I have in a long time. God is breaking and humbling me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. I think I’ve even heard the slightest hint of chains falling off of me. I don’t want to listen too hard, however, out of fear that I will go back and pick them up again. I just want to continue to become less aware of myself, even in the midst of victories, and slosh on through the mud towards the One calling me to Himself, to be washed clean from my sin and rest in His peace.
And so I march on, praying for the strength to stay out of the cumbersome pits of selfishness and pride. I am begging the Holy Spirit to keep watch on every motive and thought, rendering them obedient to Jesus. And most of all, I am praying that I will leave on the ground the chains that God is so desperately trying to free me from.
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